


In this void (In this Love I have for you)

by wolfjillyjill



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Confessions, F/F, Forgiveness, Love, Sorrow, The 100 Episode 3x03, fluff towards the end, the vow - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-02
Updated: 2016-05-02
Packaged: 2018-06-05 23:01:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6726886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfjillyjill/pseuds/wolfjillyjill
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I’m sorry…” She speaks softly. “I never meant to turn you into this…” She wants to fight the tears that continue to skate down her cheek, but she can’t. No more. She can’t hold back these feelings. This sorrow. Lexa tilts her head up, looking at the crystal blues staring back at her. Hoping to find…something. Anything resembling forgiveness. She has never felt so weak, so helpless. Has never longed for the trust of another than she has for Clarke.<br/>Or<br/>The retelling and combining of the scenes from 3x03. As I feel it should have been.  Angst, with a fluffy ending.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In this void (In this Love I have for you)

In this void (In this Love I have for you)

Tears stream down her face. Knees hug the floor as her soul spills these words, these regrets. She has held strong for what seems like an endless moment. Never giving poise, always saving face. But as she finds herself in front of this woman whom has touched her heart in ways she never thought possible, the one everyone thought they knew is replaced.

 _“I’m sorry…”_ She speaks softly. _“I never meant to turn you into this…”_ She wants to fight the tears that continue to skate down her cheek, but she can’t. No more. She can’t hold back these feelings. This sorrow.

Lexa tilts her head up, looking at the crystal blues staring back at her. Hoping to find…something. Anything resembling forgiveness. She has never felt so weak, so helpless. Has never longed for the trust of another than she has for Clarke.

***

For a week Clarke refused to see her. After spitting in Lexa’s face, she had sent her to one of her more comfortable rooms. Under the guise of a prisoner, but in reality she just could not bear to send her out into the world alone. Never knowing if she were safe. It had become knowledge to Nia, the Ice Queen and person responsible for Costia’s death, that she had cared for the young Sky girl. She refused to allow history to repeat itself.

So she had sent as many of her best warriors possible to find her. It took some time. The Sky girl was quite clever at evading her troops, but eventually it was Roan, Prince of Azgeda, whom was victorious in returning Clarke to her. She was grateful to the man, but seeing that he had handled her roughly infuriated Lexa, so she had him imprisoned. Not the most logical choice, but her instinct to protect the girl was kicked into high gear.

***

But now here Lexa lay on her knees, surrendering herself to Clarke. Lexa had expected that she would try to kill her, so when the Sky girl had leaped towards her, knife in hand, placing it closest to Lexa’s throat than anyone would have ever dared to do, she couldn’t say she was surprised. She knew how badly she hurt Clarke, this she could not deny. The betrayal was her greatest mistake, her biggest regret. Something she would never forgive herself for.

She remained still, carefully scanning the golden haired woman her heart longed for so much so. Looking to see what lay beyond the oceans she could drown herself in a thousand times. She expected the hatred. The anger. But then she saw something she had not expected. Questioning. She was asking Lexa. Asking her why. Why she had broken the heart of the one who had always shown her loyalty and trust.

With this realization it hit Lexa. The woman had loved her. She loved her back, and Lexa had betrayed her and left her to die, with only the excuse of _‘Head over heart’_ to justify plunging an emotional knife right into her. How could she do that? That’s what Clarke’s eyes had spoken, and Lexa heard it. All she could do was whisper, _‘I’m sorry…’_

But it seems that was exactly what Clarke needed. Her resolve to kill Lexa broke with that single statement. It broke her down to nothing. She pushed Lexa away, walked as far as she could to the next corner of the room and dropped the knife she intended to use to end Lexa’s life.

It tore Lexa apart as she watched Clarke sob. The strong woman she had always known could not hold it together any longer, and it was because of her. Because of Lexa. The weight of such power, this power she had over Clarke, was overwhelming. So much so she could not stop it the moment her legs gave out and she fell to her knees. And then it happened. Something she hadn’t done since she was a child. She wept. The commander of the 12 clans. Heda, was reduced to bending on her knees and weeping in front of a girl of the Sky People. Weeping in front of this girl for whom she had found herself fallen in love with.

The action caused Clarke to quickly turn around and face her. Lexa stared into the eyes of this woman, her Skai Prisa (Sky Princess), and spoke in her native tongue. “ _Biyo moba, Klark. Biyo moba, Klark kom Skaikru…”_ (I’m sorry Clarke. I’m Sorry Clarke of the Sky People).

Clarke’s eyes widened at the sight in front her. **_‘is she really crying...apologizing...bowing before me?’_** she thought to herself. She never thought this would be possible. Seeing the strong, unapologetic commander she always knew in the most vulnerable of positions ever before. She should probably be gloating right now. Humiliating her as a show of revenge. But she didn’t. She couldn’t. She thought she should be feeling proud that she had reduced the mighty Heda to this, but she did not. Instead she felt guilty. _Guilty_. Paining at the sight of the woman she thought she hated, hurting so immensely in front of her.

Through no power of her own she found herself approaching the woman on bending knees. She stood directly in front of her and looked deeper into her eyes. Searching for any indication that this could be a trick, but she saw none. This was genuine. **_‘She means it…she truly is sorry…’_** She thought.

As Clarke stared at Lexa, she felt herself becoming overwhelmed again and dropped her head, burying her chin into her chest, weeping lightly again. **_‘Clarke will never forgive me.’_** She thought. **_‘I deserve death by her hand for all I have done. All this pain I have given her.’_** The stinging rose in her chest. **_‘She will never…’_**

Her thoughts were cut short as a soft hand reached under and cupped her chin. She obeyed as it slowly lifted her head up, forcing her to look at the golden haired angel in front of her. Tears still lingered in Clarke’s eyes, but her eyes had softened. Her brows no longer furrowed, the wrinkles on her face had smoothened. The frown she had moments ago, now curved into a small, but genuine smile.

Lexa’s face of pain was now one of shock and disbelief. She did not expect this. She did not expect to ever receive such a look from the Sky girl. **_‘No. Not ever…’_** she swallowed and decided that the only way she knew how to truly convey her guilt was to speak the words a Heda would say to her Ambassadors. _“I swear fealty to you, Klark kom Skaikru. I vow to treat your needs as my own. And your people, as my people.”_ She spoke these words proud, and true. Hoping that Clarke would feel the sincerity of her plea.

And she did. Clarke nodded. Removed her hand from Lexa’s chin, and outstretched it for Lexa to grasp. Lexa took her hand and allowed Clarke to help her raise herself to her feet. They stared into each other’s eyes a moment longer before Clarke spoke. _“If you betray me again…”_

 _“I won’t.”_ Lexa interrupted. She lifted her hand and held it against Clarke’s cheek. Rubbing ever so gently with her thumb as the blonde leaned into the touch. _“You have my word, Klark. Till my final breath, I will not break my promise to you, and will let no harm ever come to you.”_

And with that confirmation all of Clarke’s hatred was gone. The weight that held on so tightly to her soul was lifted. And the feelings within her no longer felt a reason to hold back. She reached her hand around Lexa’s neck and leaned forward. Capturing Lexa’s lips into her own. The kiss was soft at first, but gradually grew into something more. Filled with both their passions. Their love. Their hearts on full display to the other. It lasted for a few moments before Clarke broke away. _“Ai wigod op yu.”_ (I forgive you).

She watched as a single tear fell from Lexa’s eye. A tear she hoped would be the last. She gently wiped it away, giving Lexa a soft smile.

Lexa smiled back at her and said. _“Ai hod you in, Klark kom Skaikru.”_ (I love you, Clarke of the Sky People).

 _“Ai hod you in, Heda Leksa kom Trikru.”_  (I love you, Commander Lexa of the Tree People).

**Author's Note:**

> I’m sorry for any errors with the trigedasleng translations. I tried to be as on point as possible. I hope you guys liked it. Send me your love through some comments and kudos!! And tell me your thoughts because I would love to hear them. :)


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